I was bored in lab and so I started going through people's blogs and tagboards to kpo and I came across this person's blog and saw his tagboard. This anonymous dick went put something like: Hey I think you and this person makes a good couple as compared to your ex. Don't you think so? I find it very disturbing. 'Cos this person definitely doesn't make a good lover. Why? 'Cos he's too quantitative and too comparative. Everyone's different and unique and that's what makes each and everyone an individual - and special. We all come in packages: bringing along a list of characteristics and features and there's none of them that could be modified or exchanged for another. So how could you compare your current partner with the previous one?
Making comparison is the root to all unhappiness 'cos you'll never feel happy. Each of us has our own shortcomings. If all day long, we keep making statements like: Oh you know my ex is better than you in this and you're better than my ex in that, you'll never sit down and get to enjoy your partner - which is the utmost important thing in a relationship.
Another friend came to tell me that he hasn't feel very good with his partner these days. 'Cos his partner never seems to be spontaneous. Emm...and I asked him: So he did ask you to go out for a movie today didn't he? He replied yah - and I hope with some bit of guilt. I mean if he weren't spontaneous, he wouldn't even want to ask to watch a show with you right? Ha...we all sometimes expect our other half to do this for us to do that for us. There's no wrong to expectation but if the other half fails to meet our expectations then emm...you're going to feel not loved enough. It only harms the relationship.
Like my wise old friend told me: in love, do what you can for the relationship not for the other person nor for yourself. That way both of you could feel happy.
I'm rather blessed now...and I feel much more learned 'cos it seems like I'm taking things easily, regardless work-related, love-related or money-related (and that's why I could get over you so fast. In case you're here looking at this entry, I just wanna let you know that through all the incidents and events that had occurred, I've seen you clear enough. And I'm equally disgusted.) It makes me feel less stressed out. I think this is the life I wanna have. Sometimes having a peace in mind and not thinking so much in love gives you that laid back feeling. You start to enjoy everything and feel good about yourself and your partner. I'm so looking forward to the picnic this coming Sunday and I'm not containing the excitment!
Love is not just about the sweet moments; it's also about all the obstacles two persons overcome and yet still be together...
11:13
Hearsays...
samUel wants to say... 言いたい…
I'm not a high profiler nor am I a high flyer so I don't quite get why people wanna murmur behind me. Do they actually understand me as a person? I lost someone I used to like 'cos I listen too much to what people have to say...and I'm happy you don't listen to them. So now, I'm using my heart to feel yours. All I wanna let you know is that by now you already know who am I and what I could offer. Anyone could be sweet to anyone...I could be sweet to you. But that's not important, the most important thing is I want to be sweet to you and I want you to be beside me all the time...
There are many things we have planned to do and I want to do them with you! All of them...you have brought the colors back to my life and I want you to be here. And I hope you want to be here with me too...
Hold my hands tight...'cos we shall make this a crazy ride...a ride for two!
Love is not about what we could do...love is about what we want to do!
Thursday, June 19, 200823:49
Shopping Fun
samUel wants to say... 言いたい…
Roy wasn't quite in a good mood today so he got me out to Vivo City to shop for a birthday present for his friend. Plus Ben has a dinner appointment on and I haven't quite spend time with this good pal here, so I went along with him...especially when Roy has been complaining to me that he has been rather moody 'cos of work related stress.
I have been shopping quite a bit lately and am behaving like a girl in the sense that I have been getting quite a bit of stuff that I don't quite find a need for. Well, I didn't got a few stuff today - only a piece of short shirt from Fox I have been eyeing on. It was quite a hard time deciding between 2 - this one from Fox and another one from Springfield - 'cos both of them look similar. In the end I pick the one from Fox for economical reason. I think Roy was trying to buy things to rid his moodiness...he got a tee and a cap from Pull and Bear and another cap from Playground in the Tangs. Okay, I shan't be mean and comment on the caps.
Oh yah, we did some silly photos with those silly sunshades at Topman...kinda funny...
Stylish leh...
...and a switch in roles. Opps...that sounds wrong!
My part time girlfriend is still very angry with me over Tuesday's incident. I was very late for our high tea yumcha session. I admit it's partially my fault that I could have made it if I was in school earlier. But the main reason why I was super late was that I got my timing for the teleconferencing session with my prof wrong. I mistook my timing. So that kinda made me even later. Okay lah, don't be so angry with me liao okay?
Time passes by...regardless if we liked it.
Wednesday, June 18, 200800:24
Oh Beware! I'm the Devil!
samUel wants to say... 言いたい…
You are The Devil
Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession
The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.
Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.
A number of other tarot cards are also misunderstood. All the major arcana cards are neutral cards. They take on meaning with the situations. Like Death. It means transition. It merely means the end of something and the beginning of another. Not necessary good or bad. Another one is Wheel of Fortune. It doesn't mean good luck is coming. It just means a change of environment and luck. That's all. So sometimes don't be too sensitive about the tag.
Don't judge a book by its cover...if not, you'll not see beyond the superficial!
Sunday, June 15, 200813:25
Last Ubin Trip...
samUel wants to say... 言いたい…
I was going through those pictures on my desktop that need to be sorted out and found a lot of outings I had and left unblogged. So I just felt like doing a summary on each of them...felt so great to see those outings and those great old times I spent with all my friends!
The first one I wanna talk about is the trip to Pulau Ubin with some NTU friends. Thad and I went together. Oh...a whole of unhappy incidents before arriving at Ubin man! But let's not go there...well, Thad did a superman later as we cycled down a slope. He went so fast he lost control of the bike and fell on all 4 and had bad abrasion on his right palm. It started raining and since none of us got a first aid kit along I had to be the one to run back up the slope to find something to dress his wounds. Well, that day ended with a supper buffet at Sakae at Marina Square...
Ubin Trip with some NTU friends back in December last year!
Some stylish pictures we decided to take...it's quite funny we took so long to arrange ourselves in the picture!
Me and the sunset...
Ubin is seriously a nice and cheap place to go with friends...you really get to do a lot of fun things and enjoy yourselves! Someday I shall go with my sweetheart!
Sunset and curtain drop...
Wednesday, June 11, 200815:34
Rainy Day Rainy Mind
samUel wants to say... 言いたい…
Ha...I just had my Biz Law paper today and it's really one of the most disgusting papers I have had. I had the same feeling as though I just retook my Fluid Mechanics paper. I didn't do a 20 mark question on tort of passing off. I hope the rest went fine. Actually, nope! Not really...'cos I didn't know quite what I was writing. There was simply not enough time...I didn't even have the time to flip through my notes to quote cases! Argghh...I hope I didn't do badly bah! Now I just kinda regretted that I skipped those classes just to stay in the lab to finish up my work!
The rainy mood just makes me want to cuddle someone in bed...just to feel the warmth of a special being...
Oh...Xiaotian planned to have a dimsum lunch for today but too bad Jianxiong couldn't make it. So we had a simple one at Crystal Jade. And Xiaotian being her annoying self threw green chili into my tea! She was portioning some of the cut chili out from the container then I told her to add some in her tea to make her tea taste better and she shrieked 'Is it?' and threw that spoonful of chili into my cup! Astounded! Wasted a cup of tea! Oh yah that waitress serving us was such a b***h...really! She got the wrong order and showed faces at us. What the...
Spice tea? My tea could have done better without the chili!
My brother just POP-ed today! So I'm going to get change to pop out with that botak bugger soon...
Are our compasses pointing in the same direction?
Tuesday, June 10, 200819:42
You Can Type!
samUel wants to say... 言いたい…
I was a 'lil bored with mugging my Biz Law so I started playing this 'lil thing my friend sent me...this is not the highest score though! My highest count was 84 with 2 wrong words...so I rather have a perfect one!
Happy 22nd birthday to you Andrew! And soon, we'd have known each other for 2 years. Trust me...time seems to fly like no one's business after you turned 20. I don't get it why too myself! Maybe it's Einstein's Theory of Relativity at work...he kinda thought that size of a being affects his perception of time! Just maybe...
We knew each other after we both broke up with our ex-es. That very first time we met, you were in your number 4 at White Sands waiting your ferry back to Pulau Tekong...you were depressed and I hope you still remember how I tried to cheer you up with that pill box filled with kisses. Now, you've already ORD-ed and you're standing at the start of your career. I'm sorry that I have let Thad came between us. I was very disappointed that time you told me that you were advised to give up on me. 'Cos I thought friends never gave up on each other...
Remember what you gave me for the last Christmas? A personalized card. You pointed out on that our picture on your board was missing. And I kinda knew that the photo was in the card and I do treasure the card a lot. I'm still using the mobile phone pouch you gave me. Remember how we want to stay together if we remain single when we turn old? And remember how we say we'd treat each other to a sumptuous meal when we earn our first ten thousand dollars? I knew yesterday was a bit awkward 'cos I hope to revive our friendship...which I got to realize after I broke up with Thad is much more important than anything else. You're now attached. I'm now attached too. And I hope to share my life with you still...remember: friends forever!
The birthday boy opening his presents with his very nimbly fingers...
Things are getting smooth with Benneth. Very smooth in fact. In my past relationships I'm very used to be the one giving and not taking. Maybe that was my way of 'loving'...and it was seemingly the wrong way 'cos it probably left my poor partner feeling suffocated. Now, I'm trying to give less and learn to take bit by bit...and try to incorporate this love into my life than to portion part of my life for love. It feels much more easier to love...and unusually much simpler! I've been spending a lot of time with Benneth...'cos I enjoy every single moment with him. It feels great...simply having him around. No need to do big things. No need to do special things...just his presence simply makes a great difference. Maybe this is how love should feel...
My heart was jaded and broken. It took me a lot to piece them and plaster them up together again. Yes, I'm afraid that it might be broken again once more. It's probably unsightly and unrecognizable. But that does not forbid me from taking it out and showing it to you...simply because I trust that you would not break it again. I love you...
My friend once asked me why do you love that person. It was a long time ago when I was still with my first ex. I didn't quite know how to reply and so I said I didn't know. And I added: Perhaps it's the feeling he gave me. He shook his head telling me: Sam, that's probably not love. It's a crush. When you truly love someone, that person is irreplaceable and you would try your best to keep him beside you, through thick and thin...
...love is about not getting tired of waking beside the same guy for the rest of your life!
Saturday, June 07, 200821:50
"I Love You"
samUel wants to say... 言いたい…
It's been a week since we started dating...I don't know about how you count it but that's my impression! Whole of yesterday I was in school playing magic clay with my ptgf. I was thinking of making a pair of keychains for us since it was our week. And you saw them...those green and blue mushroom looking things! Sigh...I didn't know how to give one of them to you 'cos they look really ugly! Sigh...why can't have the hands of my ptgf? The princess she made really looks as though it came off the shelf! Aww...I forgot to take a picture of what she made! Maybe I would when I pop by her hall next time.
We watched American Pie together at my place. It was my third time watching that DVD. It explores the theme of love and sex and how the two different genders view love and sex. Well, it's generally hard for guys to say I love you...'cos guys are generally afraid of committing long term. So, girls, when your boyfriends tell you they love you. They really mean it...and I'm so happy you told me that with me in your arms!
It's heartbreaking to see how Vicky wanted a breakup 'cos she thought they were not going to make it with them separated geographically after Kevin finally told her that he loved her. And Kevin never got over her and still missed her when they met up one year later in a party in American Pie 2 and I really like the song they played at that scene...it's really a very nice song called Always Getting over You by Angela Ammons! I'm not getting the lyrics here 'cos I don't it's no longer applicable to me since I found my 'lil baby!
Dearest baby, thanks for holding my hands so tight each night we sleep together...thanks for coming into my life when I thought there was no such kinda love in this world! And each passing day, as I discover more about you, the more I love you! Thanks for holding my hand and agreeing to let us set off on a crazy journey together...
And there's this song I wanna sing for you...
At the Beginning - Richard Marx and Donna Lewis
We were strangers Starting out on a journey Never dreaming What we'd have to go through Now here we are And I'm suddenly standing At the beginning with you
No one told me I was going to find you Unexpected What you did to my heart When I lost hope You were there to remind me This is the start
Life is a road And I want to keep going Love is a river I wanna keep flowing Life is a road Now and forever Wonderful journey
I'll be there When the world stops turning I'll be there the storm is through In the end I wanna be standing At the beginning with you
We were strangers On a crazy adventure Never dreaming How our dreams would come true Now here we stand Unafraid of the future At the beginning with you
Life is a road And I want to keep going Love is a river I wanna keep flowing Life is a road Now and forever Wonderful journey
I'll be there When the world stops turning I'll be there When the storm is through In the end I wanna be standing At the beginning with you
I knew there was somebody somewhere Like me alone in the dark I know my dream will live on I've been waiting so long Nothing's gonna tear us apart
Life is a road And I want to keep going Love is a river I wanna keep flowing Life is a road Now and forever Wonderful journey
I'll be there When the world stops turning I'll be there When the storm is through In the end I wanna be standing At the beginning with you
Life is a road and I wanna keep going Love is a river I wanna keep going on... Starting out on a journey Life is a road and I wanna going Love is river I wanna keep flowing In the end I wanna be standing At the beginning with you
Love is a river that I wanna keep going...with you!
Thursday, June 05, 200800:56
Thought I would do badly for my exam...
samUel wants to say... 言いたい…
Ha...finally the result for the previous semester is out! I thought I would do badly...especially when I broke up right before exam! Oh well...the result came out and my lowest grade, thankfully, still remained at B+! And sadly, I have no A+ on my result slip this time round. So, my GPA drops slightly again...thankfully, it's not much! I'll have to pull up my socks for the next semester!
Oh yah...thanks to CC! Lalalala...told me HP804 could get A+ one. In the end, I only got B+. So sad...especially I prepared so much for this paper.
The walk around Kallang was beautiful...especially the part we held hands and sing this silly song! Reminded me of the innocent times I had as a kid...there's another old song that I really love!
Today was a seriously bad day...things just went totally wrong. First I went to sell away my old lappie. Guess how much did it fetch? Oh my freaking God, I was offered only 300 for it and I decided not to sell it. Who knows when I might need a spare lappie...
Then I headed down to town to get some tickets for an event. I got them luckily but that was the beginning to my bad luck...I had to get some of those 3M Command products for my place and they are so damn hard to get these days...I ran from one supermarket to another in town for at least 2 hours to find them at Carrefour at Suntec City where I got the tickets.
After I got those stuff, I went to one of those gadget shops at the Meridien Hotel to get an iPod. During payment then I realized I dropped my debit card at the counter where I got the tickets more than 2 hours back. I reached for my mobile. Battery was dead. No number to call to cancel the card. I thought of calling the counter where I got the tickets to check if my card was there. I got 3 10 cent coins. I inserted two of them into the wrong slot...apparently, someone broke the eject coin jack and I mistook that hole for the slot you insert the coins. Oh my God. So I inserted my last coin into the correct coin slot to realize that the phone was crappy and it just took that last coin. I went to get change and came back to make the call and what now? The counter just closed. It was totally crappy...
I had no choice but to rush home to cancel the card...seriously, I don't think I had a second day that bad before aside from the first 14 days I spent in Brunei for my overseas posting trip!
Good things may not come all at once...but bad things do!
Sunday, June 01, 200801:36
Happy Birthday to Mark
samUel wants to say... 言いたい…
Happy 24th birthday to you Mark! Dinner was great...it's been a long time since I last had a dinner with so many friends. I used to have a few cliques of friends and weekends were usually packed with dinners. Until I last got attached...
...things with friends started to fall apart 'cos everyone told me to give up on you...I thought I shouldn't 'cos I thought they couldn't feel you the way I feel you. I was wrong...'cos I was part of the picture. How could I see the picture clearer than they do? You kept telling me how much you gave up for me but I've never said anything like that to you...'cos I told you before love is not quantifiable. It's great to see that now both of us have moved on...I'm starting to appreciate the outcome.
The walk was fantastic...but it wasn't quite complete 'cos I didn't hold your hand. I like the way you looked at me. I like the way you pecked my lips with you in my arms. I like the way we had that crazy shower. Lying in front an ocean so vast, it's not quite imaginable that I could find someone like you...but I did! I wouldn't say I love you 'cos I don't think I know you enough to justify that statement unless it's a lie. Given the chance, I know I would...someday. Trust me...
Trust...is something love cannot do without! Look at us? Trust given and misplaced. Not once. Not twice...thrice! And you told me to give it back to you unconditionally? Am I insane? Unfortunately not!
My heart was broken. Maybe a few times. So there's no way I could give you an unbroken heart. But it's all taped up...with my bloody hands. Nicely wrapped and presented to you...it's not easy to take it out once more and I hope you'd not break it like they did!
Let's stop this emo thing before it gets all out of hand again! Dinner was great at Jumbo Seafood Restaurant at Indoor Stadium...but aside from Mark, David and Derrick, Mark's remaining 9 guests were late. Atrociously late...Alvin, Liangyuan, Raphael and Jinwei got lost on their way from Kallang MRT and I had to rush to their rescue! So, the supposedly 15 minute walk ended up becoming a 45 minute one! Mark's schoolmates, Doranne and Fiona, appeared shortly after. Well, Alexis, being her usual self, came after dinner...2 and a half hours late! Lalalala...okay, let's not be so harsh on her 'cos Jareth overslept as well and reached around 10! Well, I didn't stay after dinner to listen to Alvin's story about his (hookup) trip to Vietnam! Aww...how sad I missed out on all the juicy gossips...
This looks like emm...delicious...but I don't know what it is!
...ah I know this...fried fritters stuffed with fish cake!
Crabby crabs...in chili and in black pepper!
Frantic entrance...2 hours late!
Aww...totally chocolicious!
Guess who? Doranne and Fiona...I don't know who's who though.
Jinwei, me and specky...
...Mark, Derrick and Alexis...
...rofle, Alvin (and Alvina) and dadah...the birthday boy - Mark!
Mark and his present...wah! A Gucci wallet!
Alexis, looks like we have a sleepy Jareth!
Afraid to fall in love...no more! Transiting into a new phase of life...
