Life is a journey. Like love. And both are very trying processes. Sometimes you could put in a lot of soul and effort but that might not translate to a good outcome and vice versa. But one thing we could never deny is that each experience is a teaching lesson. A relationship shouldn't be measured by its span. Instead, it should be measured by the amount of memories it cast in the hearts of two beings. So, next time when a poor soul is deeply hurt after coming out from a one week relationship, don't tell him: com'on it's only a week...
Last week today I went out with this moody guy at night 'cos I was equally moody. He told me guys in this circle only look for 3 things in another guy - money, looks and bods. As sad and as superficial as it might sound, it's true. I'm not going to be a hypocrite to deny that I'm a superficial prick - 'cos for a matter of fact, I am. Well, for me, looks and bods are important. No need to look extremely cute, just need to be pleasing to my eyes. No need to be hunky, just an average Joe will do. Money? Ha...that's the last thing I look for in a partner 'cos it never fails to make me feel inferior...maybe it's an MCP thing. I don't know but I know it sucks knowing that I wouldn't be able to provide well for my other half.
Well, I know that at the end of the day, I'm looking for a guy who is not materialistic - someone who lives realistically if I may add. 'Cos I'm not a person who prizes the act of someone who presents me with say a LV wallet, no doubt I'll be happy. Thad on Valentine's Day presented me with a stone. It's something that I treasure the most 'til this day. It's not diamond. It's neither sapphire nor ruby. It's really just a piece of pebble no bigger than my palm. But, it has the glow-in-the-dark 'Thad loves Sam' letterings stuck on them - and ornamented with many small heart shaped stickers. It's worthless in terms of monetary value, but behind it, there is a huge story - the story of two penguins. It's a huge vision of what two lives compasses - for us, well, it's used to...this dream could have been shattered. But no one could steal the lovely moments we once shared...nor could steal the hurtful insults we hurred at each other in moments of conflicts.
Just look at a note with face value of 10 bucks. It might mean nothing - to both you and me. But when it comes from someone who is so broke that he only has that 10 bucks - it's all he has. And it's his everything. It means you're his everything, too - and perhaps, more than himself. He might be ashame that he could not give you more, but he's willing to give up his everything just to let you have it. Isn't it more touching than someone who has unlimited wealth to doll you up but could never part with his soul for you? I'm sorry but I'm beginning to despise people who lives for money and the apparent goodness it could bring 'cos love is never about these goodies...
I always look for guys around my age with no career with no assets - with nothing basically. 'Cos that way, love would then be about building a common future. A dream...which love should be about all the time. Thad knew I loved him. 'Cos after each fight, we still held each other tightly. Too bad we had many fundamentals differences with our ideals that prevented us from a shared future...
...well, I just came out of another dating phase. Sad it might sound. I was trying hard to bridge the distance. We spent a lot of time together - but there was no attention. That's the damage one tiff could cause. But it's not going to deprive me of the yesterday we had...
Yesterday - Leona Lewis
I just can't believe you're gone Still waiting for morning to come Wanna see if the sun will rise Even without you by my side
When we had so much in store Tell me what is it i'm reaching for When we're through building memories I'll hold yesterday in my heart, in my heart
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made They can take the music that we'll never play All the broken dreams Take everything Just take it away, but they can never have yesterday They can take the future that we'll never know They can take the places that we said we would go All the broken dreams Take everything Just take it away, but they can never have yesterday
You always used to stay I should be thankful for everyday Heaven knows what the future holds Or at least how the story goes
I know i'll see you again i'm sure No, it's not selfish to ask for more One more night, one more day One more smile on you face But they can't take yesterday
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made They can take the music that we'll never play All the broken dreams Take everything Just take it away, but they can never have yesterday They can take the future that we'll never know They can take the places that we said we would go All the broken dreams Take everything Just take it away, but they can never have yesterday
I thought our days would last forever 'Cos in my mind, we had so much time But i was so wrong Now I can, believe that I can still find the strength in the moments we made I'm looking back on yesterday
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made They can take the music that we'll never play All the broken dreams Take everything Just take it away, but they can never have yesterday They can take the future that we'll never know They can take the places that we said we would go All the broken dreams Take everything Just take it away, but they can never have yesterday But they can never have yesterday
Well, time might be running short for me but it's not going to deprive me my dream. Still, love is not something that should be rush. Patience, I should tell myself, always...
